Saturday, May 25, 2013

Next Step

Well, I did it. I officially a graduated from Southern Seminary with a Master of Divinity degree last friday. A friend and I were talking at my graduation party about how weird the term "Master of Divinity" is because I am no where near a master of divinity. If seminary has taught me anything it's that I can never learn all there is to learn about God. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know...and I think that's awesome. Our God is an infinite God. If we could learn everything, then he wouldn't be God. As someone who likes learning, I find that pretty cool. There's always something new to learn. Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent.

For the most part, people know that my next step is moving to South Asia. The main questions I've been asked are about my timeline and if I'm excited. (Timeline = leave Louisville at the end of June for Mississippi, followed by training in VA for 8 weeks at the end of July, then heading to South Asia at the beginning of Oct.) That's more of a loaded question than I think anyone realizes. I always tell people that I have mixed emotions. I am excited but I'm also sad and scared and so many different emotions all at once. And that's okay.

I've come to realize that it's okay for me to be sad and scared. In fact, I think it's even a good thing. I'm sad because God has blessed me with a wonderful community in Louisville and a wonderful family back home in Mississippi, which makes leaving hard. I'm glad that leaving is hard because it means I have wonderful people in my life that make it hard. I'm thankful for technology, but it's not the same as being in the same place with the people I love.

Like these people (not around them enough as it is):
Daddy, Momma, Taylor, Me, & Lindsey

And these people:
Community Group
Jack, Christi, Lowell, Dustin, Ben, Meghan, Eric, Laura, Josh, Me, & Trey
Also these:
Jamie, Liz, Me, & Becca
Former hallmates/roommate

 And her:

Me & Sharon
Former Roommate
And many other people. I've experienced being separated from friends and family before. My best friend, Lindsay, lives in Africa right now. My family is 9 hrs away in Mississippi. Laura Leigh and her precious new baby are 6 hrs away in Memphis.

I knew one family when I moved to Louisville, and I have come to love this place. Honestly, I'm not worried about making friends when I move to South Asia. I already have some friends there, and I know I'm going to make many more friends. I'm simply sad to be leaving my community here.

It's also okay for me to be scared. I don't feel adequate, and I'm not. I'm not some super Christian. I struggle with self-discipline and making time for the things that are important and not just "good." I struggle with feeling like if I can't do something perfect, then why do it at all. I'm not a super outgoing person. Small talk isn't my thing. The thing is, because of these weaknesses I know that anything God does through me to bring anyone closer to him is all his doing. I can't save people. I'm not adequate. I'm not perfect. But God can use me. He uses our weaknesses to show that he is strong, and that's freeing.

I don't know what my plans are beyond these next two years, but I'm okay with that. I know that moving to South Asia for the next two years is God's plan for me, because my own plans were pulled out from under me in a big way not once, but twice, and everything has worked out better than I could have planned on my own. I fell in love with Louisville, and I have no doubt that I will fall in love with South Asia as well. I'm excited, scared, sad, and thrilled about this next step in my journey. Please keep me in your prayers, and feel free to email me ( to learn more about my move or anything really.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

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