Next Step

Well, I did it. I officially a graduated from Southern Seminary with a Master of Divinity degree last friday. A friend and I were talking at my graduation party about how weird the term "Master of Divinity" is because I am no where near a master of divinity. If seminary has taught me anything it's that I can never learn all there is to learn about God. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know...and I think that's awesome. Our God is an infinite God. If we could learn everything, then he wouldn't be God. As someone who likes learning, I find that pretty cool. There's always something new to learn. Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent.

Graduating!

For the most part, people know that my next step is moving to South Asia. The main questions I've been asked are about my timeline and if I'm excited. (Timeline = leave Louisville at the end of June for Mississippi, followed by training in VA for 8 weeks at the end of July, then heading to South Asia at the beginning of Oct.) That's more of a loaded question than I think anyone realizes. I always tell people that I have mixed emotions. I am excited but I'm also sad and scared and so many different emotions all at once. And that's okay.

I've come to realize that it's okay for me to be sad and scared. In fact, I think it's even a good thing. I'm sad because God has blessed me with a wonderful community in Louisville and a wonderful family back home in Mississippi, which makes leaving hard. I'm glad that leaving is hard because it means I have wonderful people in my life that make it hard. I'm thankful for technology, but it's not the same as being in the same place with the people I love.

Like these people (not around them enough as it is):

Family
Daddy, Momma, Taylor, Me, & Lindsey

And these people:

Community Group
Jack, Christi, Lowell, Dustin, Ben, Meghan, Eric, Laura, Josh, Me, & Trey

Also these:

Jamie, Liz, Me, & Becca
Former hallmates/roommate

 And her:

Me & Sharon
Former Roommate

And many other people. I've experienced being separated from friends and family before. My best friend, Lindsay, lives in Africa right now. My family is 9 hrs away in Mississippi. Laura Leigh and her precious new baby are 6 hrs away in Memphis.

I knew one family when I moved to Louisville, and I have come to love this place. Honestly, I'm not worried about making friends when I move to South Asia. I already have some friends there, and I know I'm going to make many more friends. I'm simply sad to be leaving my community here.

It's also okay for me to be scared. I don't feel adequate, and I'm not. I'm not some super Christian. I struggle with self-discipline and making time for the things that are important and not just "good." I struggle with feeling like if I can't do something perfect, then why do it at all. I'm not a super outgoing person. Small talk isn't my thing. The thing is, because of these weaknesses I know that anything God does through me to bring anyone closer to him is all his doing. I can't save people. I'm not adequate. I'm not perfect. But God can use me. He uses our weaknesses to show that he is strong, and that's freeing.

I don't know what my plans are beyond these next two years, but I'm okay with that. I know that moving to South Asia for the next two years is God's plan for me, because my own plans were pulled out from under me in a big way not once, but twice, and everything has worked out better than I could have planned on my own. I fell in love with Louisville, and I have no doubt that I will fall in love with South Asia as well. I'm excited, scared, sad, and thrilled about this next step in my journey. Please keep me in your prayers, and feel free to email me (rushingalr@gmail.com) to learn more about my move or anything really.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Washed by the Water

This past Thursday I got to see two of my favorite bands in concert, Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors, and NEEDTOBREATHE. I bought my roommate and I tickets for her birthday, and I'm so glad I did. Such a great concert.

I fell in love with Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors a couple years ago when I saw them in concert at a really small venue here in Louisville. Ellie Holcomb is possibly the cutest person ever and has an amazing voice. I just want to be her friend. I didn't bring my camera to this concert because I didn't think it would be allowed in, but here's a picture of Drew and Ellie from the concert I went to a couple years ago. If you've never listened to Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors, do yourself a favor and look them up now. (Their old song, "Mercy," is a personal favorite.)

NEEDTOBREATHE has been a favorite band of mine for a while, but I've never had a chance to see them in concert until now. I think I had forgotten just how much I like them. I love cranking up their music in the car and singing screaming along. They have so many great songs that I can't really choose a favorite...The Outsiders, Something Beautiful, Washed By the Water, Drive All Night, Let Us Love, etc.

Recently I've been listening to Washed By the Water a lot. The lyrics of that song remind me of one of my favorite verses, Isaiah 40:8, "The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever." This song talks about how even when storms come, Christ won't let us down. We are still washed clean by Christ even when things around us seem to crumble. Plans I've had for years have changed, people I know have been diagnosed with cancer, I'm moving across the world, and terrible things have been happening in the world lately, but I still have Christ, and he won't let me down. (Disclaimer: Moving across the world is exciting, but leaving my community in Louisville and knowing I won't be able to talk to my family as frequently is hard.) This song is reassuring during a very transitional time in my life. It's comforting to know that while many things may be changing, Christ's love for me will never change.

Family

I've been planning on writing this post anyway, so what better day than National Sibling Day?

Momma (Judy) & Daddy (Lane)
Taylor (youngest '93), Lindsey (middle '90), & Me (oldest '87)

I've always known that I'm blessed to a have a close family with parents who are still together. My sister, Lindsey, figured out that my parents have been together for 36 yrs. They've been married for almost 29, but they started dating in high school and got married when my dad was in med school. I hope I have a marriage as strong as theirs one day.
Lindsey tweeted this recently, which made me laugh:

Mom: "You're not through talking cause your feet are still twitching.." What a 36 year relationship sounds like.

Lately I've realized just how much of an exception I am. I've heard stories recently from multiple friends about growing up in divorced families. Some of my friends have pretty rough backgrounds. I got to hear a couple of my their testimonies recently, and I'm thankful God drew them to him even though they weren't raised in Christian homes like me.

I used to think that my story wasn't all that special. I didn't have some sort of crazy story where God pulled me out of a rough situation. Quite the opposite. I was a goody-two-shoes, typical oldest sibling, who tried to be appear perfect. I grew up in church; knew all the major Bible stories; made good grades; considered myself to be a good person. My parents lived a Christ-like life before me, and were the natural people for me to go to with my questions.

I became a Christian when I was eight. One of my friends was baptized, and I wanted to know what that meant. I remember standing in my parents room and having them explain the basics of Christianity to me. Christ died for us while we were still sinners, and he rose again defeating death. He lived a perfect life and died as the ultimate sacrifice for us. We simply need to accept the gift God has given us.

God drew me into a relationship with him when I was eight, but I didn't immediately start living perfectly. I tried though. I was a bit legalistic growing up without realizing it. I'm a people-pleasing perfectionist...I don't say this to brag. It's often not a good thing. I truly believe I became a Christian as a child, but I've always placed high expectations on myself and this bled into my relationship with God.

I thought I needed to be perfect. I looked up to other Christians in my life and never thought I could be as good of a Christian. The past few years I think the message of grace has finally been sinking in to my thick skull. Diving deep into theology through seminary and my church has been extremely beneficial. Knowing others in my CG who struggle with similar issues, and having others in my group call me out on my dumb thoughts has helped. God saved me by GRACE through faith. Christ died for us while we were STILL sinners. I'm not perfect and I don't have to be because Christ was perfect for me. God sees Christ when he looks at me. This doesn't mean doing what I want when I want. Living for Christ means wanting to obey him, but it also means that all I need is Christ.

I've gone off topic, but I think these things needed to be written...and now back on topic. I'm thankful I was raised in a loving home with Christian parents. I have a great relationship with my parents. I can talk to them about anything–theology, camera equipment, emotions, clothes–anything. We don't always agree on everything, but I know that I can talk to them about anything, and I praise God for that. I take it for granted too often. Hearing others' stories recently has made me realize how I take my relationship with my family for granted far too often.

I have two younger sisters as well, and I'm glad we're all close. We have our typical sibling fights, but for the most part we get along pretty well. I definitely think we've gotten closer now that we're all adults. I'm proud of my sisters. I'm not always good at expressing myself verbally, but I love my sisters, and I'm proud of them.

Lindsey is three years younger than me and recently graduated from Mississippi State as a painting major. She's an extremely talented artist. Check out some of her work here. Her road to graduation wasn't easy. Some plans changed, but I think she definitely wound up in the right major because she is ridiculously talented. She'll be heading to ultrasound tech school soon. Painting isn't a steady job market, but becoming an ultrasound tech will hopefully give her some job security while still allowing her to pursue painting.

Taylor is my baby sister. She's six years younger than me, and attending my alma mater, Mississippi College, where she is a sophomore nursing major. She just got her official acceptance letter into nursing school at MC. I think she will make an amazing nurse. Taylor has always been the most servant-hearted of the three of us. Lindsey and I abused her servant-hearted nature quite a bit growing up.

Sorry this post was so long. Sometimes I can't stop writing once I get going.

Some questions/thoughts for you...I'd love to hear your thoughts:
• Are you close to your family?
• How have your family relationships impacted how you view God/religion?
• Do you struggle with perfectionism or other traits which influence how you treat God?