Next Step

Well, I did it. I officially a graduated from Southern Seminary with a Master of Divinity degree last friday. A friend and I were talking at my graduation party about how weird the term "Master of Divinity" is because I am no where near a master of divinity. If seminary has taught me anything it's that I can never learn all there is to learn about God. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know...and I think that's awesome. Our God is an infinite God. If we could learn everything, then he wouldn't be God. As someone who likes learning, I find that pretty cool. There's always something new to learn. Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent.

Graduating!

For the most part, people know that my next step is moving to South Asia. The main questions I've been asked are about my timeline and if I'm excited. (Timeline = leave Louisville at the end of June for Mississippi, followed by training in VA for 8 weeks at the end of July, then heading to South Asia at the beginning of Oct.) That's more of a loaded question than I think anyone realizes. I always tell people that I have mixed emotions. I am excited but I'm also sad and scared and so many different emotions all at once. And that's okay.

I've come to realize that it's okay for me to be sad and scared. In fact, I think it's even a good thing. I'm sad because God has blessed me with a wonderful community in Louisville and a wonderful family back home in Mississippi, which makes leaving hard. I'm glad that leaving is hard because it means I have wonderful people in my life that make it hard. I'm thankful for technology, but it's not the same as being in the same place with the people I love.

Like these people (not around them enough as it is):

Family
Daddy, Momma, Taylor, Me, & Lindsey

And these people:

Community Group
Jack, Christi, Lowell, Dustin, Ben, Meghan, Eric, Laura, Josh, Me, & Trey

Also these:

Jamie, Liz, Me, & Becca
Former hallmates/roommate

 And her:

Me & Sharon
Former Roommate

And many other people. I've experienced being separated from friends and family before. My best friend, Lindsay, lives in Africa right now. My family is 9 hrs away in Mississippi. Laura Leigh and her precious new baby are 6 hrs away in Memphis.

I knew one family when I moved to Louisville, and I have come to love this place. Honestly, I'm not worried about making friends when I move to South Asia. I already have some friends there, and I know I'm going to make many more friends. I'm simply sad to be leaving my community here.

It's also okay for me to be scared. I don't feel adequate, and I'm not. I'm not some super Christian. I struggle with self-discipline and making time for the things that are important and not just "good." I struggle with feeling like if I can't do something perfect, then why do it at all. I'm not a super outgoing person. Small talk isn't my thing. The thing is, because of these weaknesses I know that anything God does through me to bring anyone closer to him is all his doing. I can't save people. I'm not adequate. I'm not perfect. But God can use me. He uses our weaknesses to show that he is strong, and that's freeing.

I don't know what my plans are beyond these next two years, but I'm okay with that. I know that moving to South Asia for the next two years is God's plan for me, because my own plans were pulled out from under me in a big way not once, but twice, and everything has worked out better than I could have planned on my own. I fell in love with Louisville, and I have no doubt that I will fall in love with South Asia as well. I'm excited, scared, sad, and thrilled about this next step in my journey. Please keep me in your prayers, and feel free to email me (rushingalr@gmail.com) to learn more about my move or anything really.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

My Plans Are Not My Own

©Allison Rushing

Over the years I have learned to hold plans loosely, but sometimes God still has to beat it into my head that my plans are not mine at all.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

 This is one of those times where my plans changed, but I know that God is so much bigger than my plans. I'm not saying I handled it well...I bawled me eyes out in front of people I barely knew.

I never know quite where to start when I'm telling people about my plans to head to S. Asia because this has been a slow chipping away process over many years. It started when I went to Greece in 2008. I realized on that trip that I could use my skills in media to share my faith overseas. Through a series of events, this lead to me applying for and getting into seminary...Southwestern Seminary. If you know me, then you know that's not where I wound up. I'm in Louisville at Southern Seminary and loving it here.

My change in seminary plans is the first time I had big plans completely pulled out from under me. SWBTS used to have a media program. I was planning on doing this program and moving there right after working at camp in TX summer of '09. It was on my last 24 hr period off that my mom called me and told me she couldn't find that emphasis on their website anymore. She woke me up with a call that morning to inform me that she talked to the school and they no longer offered that emphasis.

Getting this type of news right as you wake up is not pleasant...and your emotions aren't very rational when you're awoken like that. I started questioning what I was doing with my life. Was I supposed to go to seminary? I've graduated college. I'm working at a summer camp. I don't have a backup plan. WHAT AM I DOING?! Those were the thoughts going through my mind. Thankfully a friend of mine calmed me down, we continued with our plans for the day, and my parents and I started contacting anyone we knew who might be able to help.

My former pastor, Dr. Sills, was one of the people my parents contacted, and he responded with a long email about the M.Div. Great Commission emphasis at SBTS. I was told I could get in on special student status. I don't really remember my thought process that day, but I decided to go for it. The next day I was in at SBTS and had housing available in the dorms. I drove the 10 hrs home from camp at the end of the week, got in at 1 in the morning, then headed to Louisville early the next morning. I was the last girl to move into the dorms, and classes started the day after I got to Southern. I'm pretty sure I was in seminary culture shock for at least my first month. I have fallen in love with this city and my church here. Leaving will be incredibly hard, but this experience is one I can look back on and see firsthand how God has been faithful. His plans are so much better than my own. (Side note: I came to seminary with the idea of doing some sort of media ministry.)

Fast-forward to this past summer when I went to Nepal. I fell in love with the people there, and with the vision of Sojourn. This renewed my interest in heading overseas and I began the application process. I was accepted and thought another girl from Sojourn would be going to the same conference as me, but that fell through. Just days after that fell through, I was contacted by someone asking if I was interested in doing media since they saw I had a background in it.

Of course I was interested. There were emails back and forth until right before I went to the conference where I would be putting job/location preferences. I thought the job I wanted was a sure thing. I love photography and was excited to get to combine my passions. The conference was from a Wed. evening to a Sat. morning. Friday I was told that I needed to meet with the head photographer. I had no clue that I would be meeting with him while at this conference, and it didn't go well. Once again, my plans were suddenly changing. I walked out of the room and started sobbing and asking God why. I knew though. I knew I was too set on my own plans, and that he had better plans for me. I was still upset, but I knew that plans were out of my hands at this point. I had a night to figure out which jobs to put down as my top three choices when everyone else had been figuring this out for the past few days. Whatever happened was exactly what God had planned for me. I had my past experience with my seminary plans to show me that.

I believe God used the possibility of that media job to open me up to the location. I don't know if I would have considered this particular city if it weren't for those emails and some friends of mine also moving to this same city. I wasn't surprised at all when I got the phone call letting me know I had been matched to a job in S. Asia. It hasn't been an easy journey, but I'm truly excited about the future. I'm also quite nervous, and there are many days I don't feel adequate. And you know what, I'm not adequate. But with His strength I am.

Specific ways you can pray for me:
• That I don't let the busyness of my last semester keep me from being in the Word.
• That my various transitions from Louisville to MS to VA to S. Asia go smoothly.
• That I don't let goodbyes keep me from being present wherever I'm currently located.
• That I don't let emotions (about my adequacy, goodbyes, learning a new culture, etc.) overrule what I know to be true.

Sorry this post was so long, but it's hard to tell my story in an abbreviated manner...and this was somewhat abbreviated! ha