Finding the Light

*Warning: Photography geek-out ahead.*

Yesterday an online photography workshop that I signed up for began. It's a four week workshop on natural light by Brooke Snow done through the Rock the Shot Forums. Each Tuesday a new lesson is posted with several videos. After one session I'm already loving the workshop, and definitely think it was worth the money.

The first session covers "finding the light." Lighting is everything in photography. Brooke says, "Find the light first and the location second." She proves this point during one of her demo videos when she shows how she took some awesome head shots while standing in a bathtub. Sounds crazy, right? Well there was a window, which allowed for great natural light, and the white walls and tub are natural reflectors.

Her talk about natural reflectors and absorbers was really helpful. They were concepts I knew but hadn't thought about in some of the ways she mentioned. I find the demo videos to be extremely helpful. Some of these concepts have been explained to me before, but actually seeing how she set up her shots helped me a lot. Sometimes I just need to see it for it to click. I'm a visual learner (which shouldn't be surprising).

Each week she also gives us an assignment. This week she told us to focus on "catchlights." Catchlights are those highlights or "sparks" you see in a subjects eyes. They add life to the photo and draw your attention to the person's face. One of Brooke's demo videos focused on shooting with natural light while indoors. She showed us various ways to use windows. Since I haven't done many indoor portraits, I decided I wanted to try it out...but I didn't have anyone around at the time so I decided to attempt a self-portrait, and I'm glad I did.

I love the way my self-portrait turned out. I used the window to get good lighting on my face, and I was able to achieve good catchlights by looking out the window toward the bright sky. I love this photo because I feel like it captures my emotions right now. It's kind of hard to explain how...and I feel like any way that I try to explain comes out sounding cheesy, so I'll just let the photo speak for itself. :)

If you read this post, thanks for bearing with me in my photography geek-out. I could go on and on about the things I learned just in that first session, but for everyone's sake I won't do that (anymore than I already have). I just hope that you'll be able to see my growth as a photographer through my photos. :) Also, I confess to a love of learning, and I love that I can go through this workshop at my own pace since I can save the videos and materials. Okay, I'm really done geeking-out now.

What do you think of my self-portrait?
Anyone else out there have a love for learning and photography?

Bucket List

Is there a better term? Moving list? Wish list? To do list? ??? "Bucket list" isn't quite the right term here, but I couldn't think of anything better. :\

I'm only going to be gone for two years. That's really not that long, but I do have a list of things I would like to do in Louisville and back home in Mississippi before I ship out. Some things are things I've been meaning to do for a while and just haven't gotten around to. Others are things that I love, and want to squeeze in a few more visits. Hanging out as much as possible with friends and family is a "duh," and, therefore, not on the lists.

Louisville List (In no particular order):

1. Big Four Walking Bridge–I actually just did this, but I want to go again at sunset with my camera.
2. Louisville Zoo
3. Louisville Bats Game
4. Visit my favorite local coffee shops as much as possible without going broke. (Vint and Quills)
5. Eat at two or three of the places I haven't been to that people have told me I must try. (Hammerheads is the main one I can think of that my CG keeps telling me about.)
6. Go on more walks at parks, particularly my favorite, Cherokee Park.
7. Serve as photographer at least one more time at my church, Sojourn. (Doing that tomorrow.)

Mississippi (Jackson/Ridgeland/Madison area) List:

1. Eat at Keifer's (My favorite Greek restaurant)
2. Eat crawfish
3. Hang out in my backyard, by the lake, in my hammock. 

Okay, so my MS list isn't very long because I mainly want to spend time at home with my family, and eat. haha The things I do in MS are not as much about places as they are about people. That sounds like Louisville isn't about people, which is not true at all. Honestly, I would love to do the things on my lists, but I would be just as happy simply hanging out with the people I care about...preferably a few at a time so I get more quality time with them. :) (Plus I'm an introvert.)

I'm sure I'm forgetting some things I would put on my lists so tell me what would be on yours.

Louisville people, what would be on your list?
And Mississippi people, what would be on yours?

Next Step

Well, I did it. I officially a graduated from Southern Seminary with a Master of Divinity degree last friday. A friend and I were talking at my graduation party about how weird the term "Master of Divinity" is because I am no where near a master of divinity. If seminary has taught me anything it's that I can never learn all there is to learn about God. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know...and I think that's awesome. Our God is an infinite God. If we could learn everything, then he wouldn't be God. As someone who likes learning, I find that pretty cool. There's always something new to learn. Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent.

Graduating!

For the most part, people know that my next step is moving to South Asia. The main questions I've been asked are about my timeline and if I'm excited. (Timeline = leave Louisville at the end of June for Mississippi, followed by training in VA for 8 weeks at the end of July, then heading to South Asia at the beginning of Oct.) That's more of a loaded question than I think anyone realizes. I always tell people that I have mixed emotions. I am excited but I'm also sad and scared and so many different emotions all at once. And that's okay.

I've come to realize that it's okay for me to be sad and scared. In fact, I think it's even a good thing. I'm sad because God has blessed me with a wonderful community in Louisville and a wonderful family back home in Mississippi, which makes leaving hard. I'm glad that leaving is hard because it means I have wonderful people in my life that make it hard. I'm thankful for technology, but it's not the same as being in the same place with the people I love.

Like these people (not around them enough as it is):

Family
Daddy, Momma, Taylor, Me, & Lindsey

And these people:

Community Group
Jack, Christi, Lowell, Dustin, Ben, Meghan, Eric, Laura, Josh, Me, & Trey

Also these:

Jamie, Liz, Me, & Becca
Former hallmates/roommate

 And her:

Me & Sharon
Former Roommate

And many other people. I've experienced being separated from friends and family before. My best friend, Lindsay, lives in Africa right now. My family is 9 hrs away in Mississippi. Laura Leigh and her precious new baby are 6 hrs away in Memphis.

I knew one family when I moved to Louisville, and I have come to love this place. Honestly, I'm not worried about making friends when I move to South Asia. I already have some friends there, and I know I'm going to make many more friends. I'm simply sad to be leaving my community here.

It's also okay for me to be scared. I don't feel adequate, and I'm not. I'm not some super Christian. I struggle with self-discipline and making time for the things that are important and not just "good." I struggle with feeling like if I can't do something perfect, then why do it at all. I'm not a super outgoing person. Small talk isn't my thing. The thing is, because of these weaknesses I know that anything God does through me to bring anyone closer to him is all his doing. I can't save people. I'm not adequate. I'm not perfect. But God can use me. He uses our weaknesses to show that he is strong, and that's freeing.

I don't know what my plans are beyond these next two years, but I'm okay with that. I know that moving to South Asia for the next two years is God's plan for me, because my own plans were pulled out from under me in a big way not once, but twice, and everything has worked out better than I could have planned on my own. I fell in love with Louisville, and I have no doubt that I will fall in love with South Asia as well. I'm excited, scared, sad, and thrilled about this next step in my journey. Please keep me in your prayers, and feel free to email me (rushingalr@gmail.com) to learn more about my move or anything really.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Washed by the Water

This past Thursday I got to see two of my favorite bands in concert, Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors, and NEEDTOBREATHE. I bought my roommate and I tickets for her birthday, and I'm so glad I did. Such a great concert.

I fell in love with Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors a couple years ago when I saw them in concert at a really small venue here in Louisville. Ellie Holcomb is possibly the cutest person ever and has an amazing voice. I just want to be her friend. I didn't bring my camera to this concert because I didn't think it would be allowed in, but here's a picture of Drew and Ellie from the concert I went to a couple years ago. If you've never listened to Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors, do yourself a favor and look them up now. (Their old song, "Mercy," is a personal favorite.)

NEEDTOBREATHE has been a favorite band of mine for a while, but I've never had a chance to see them in concert until now. I think I had forgotten just how much I like them. I love cranking up their music in the car and singing screaming along. They have so many great songs that I can't really choose a favorite...The Outsiders, Something Beautiful, Washed By the Water, Drive All Night, Let Us Love, etc.

Recently I've been listening to Washed By the Water a lot. The lyrics of that song remind me of one of my favorite verses, Isaiah 40:8, "The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever." This song talks about how even when storms come, Christ won't let us down. We are still washed clean by Christ even when things around us seem to crumble. Plans I've had for years have changed, people I know have been diagnosed with cancer, I'm moving across the world, and terrible things have been happening in the world lately, but I still have Christ, and he won't let me down. (Disclaimer: Moving across the world is exciting, but leaving my community in Louisville and knowing I won't be able to talk to my family as frequently is hard.) This song is reassuring during a very transitional time in my life. It's comforting to know that while many things may be changing, Christ's love for me will never change.

Camera Backpack

I've been looking for a camera backpack for a little while now. I admit I'm picky. I want something that doesn't scream, "THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A CAMERA BACKPACK, PLEASE MUG ME!" Maybe that's an irrational thought, but I'd rather not advertise that my backpack has expensive gear in it. Also, I want to blend in as much as possible when I move overseas...not that a petite, blonde, American girl will be able to blend in well in S. Asia...but I can at least try not to stand out.

Anyway, as I was searching, I came across this backpack which I fell in love with...but it's a bit out of my price range ($429). It's just so pretty.

via Ona

My family took a look at that backpack and helped me search for more reasonably priced options. My dad found some National Geographic backpacks that I'm seriously considering. Still pricey, but much more reasonable. Any good camera backpack will be somewhat pricey...you have to consider the cost of what it's protecting. Here's my favorite of the National Geographic backpacks.

via National Geographic

I do own a great camera bag. I absolutely love my Kelly Moore bag, but while great for many events, it isn't the best for travel.
Here's the Kelly Moore bag I own:

via B&H

I obviously like gray camera bags/backpacks. Gray is one of my favorite neutral colors. If anyone knows of any other camera backpacks similar to what I'm wanting, let me know in the comments! I'm still searching. I think I take after my Dad in that I enjoy doing the research before making a bigger purchase. If I'm going to spend the money, I want to make sure I love the product. (Not trying to be materialistic, just trying to make sure I spend my money wisely.)

Family

I've been planning on writing this post anyway, so what better day than National Sibling Day?

Momma (Judy) & Daddy (Lane)
Taylor (youngest '93), Lindsey (middle '90), & Me (oldest '87)

I've always known that I'm blessed to a have a close family with parents who are still together. My sister, Lindsey, figured out that my parents have been together for 36 yrs. They've been married for almost 29, but they started dating in high school and got married when my dad was in med school. I hope I have a marriage as strong as theirs one day.
Lindsey tweeted this recently, which made me laugh:

Mom: "You're not through talking cause your feet are still twitching.." What a 36 year relationship sounds like.

Lately I've realized just how much of an exception I am. I've heard stories recently from multiple friends about growing up in divorced families. Some of my friends have pretty rough backgrounds. I got to hear a couple of my their testimonies recently, and I'm thankful God drew them to him even though they weren't raised in Christian homes like me.

I used to think that my story wasn't all that special. I didn't have some sort of crazy story where God pulled me out of a rough situation. Quite the opposite. I was a goody-two-shoes, typical oldest sibling, who tried to be appear perfect. I grew up in church; knew all the major Bible stories; made good grades; considered myself to be a good person. My parents lived a Christ-like life before me, and were the natural people for me to go to with my questions.

I became a Christian when I was eight. One of my friends was baptized, and I wanted to know what that meant. I remember standing in my parents room and having them explain the basics of Christianity to me. Christ died for us while we were still sinners, and he rose again defeating death. He lived a perfect life and died as the ultimate sacrifice for us. We simply need to accept the gift God has given us.

God drew me into a relationship with him when I was eight, but I didn't immediately start living perfectly. I tried though. I was a bit legalistic growing up without realizing it. I'm a people-pleasing perfectionist...I don't say this to brag. It's often not a good thing. I truly believe I became a Christian as a child, but I've always placed high expectations on myself and this bled into my relationship with God.

I thought I needed to be perfect. I looked up to other Christians in my life and never thought I could be as good of a Christian. The past few years I think the message of grace has finally been sinking in to my thick skull. Diving deep into theology through seminary and my church has been extremely beneficial. Knowing others in my CG who struggle with similar issues, and having others in my group call me out on my dumb thoughts has helped. God saved me by GRACE through faith. Christ died for us while we were STILL sinners. I'm not perfect and I don't have to be because Christ was perfect for me. God sees Christ when he looks at me. This doesn't mean doing what I want when I want. Living for Christ means wanting to obey him, but it also means that all I need is Christ.

I've gone off topic, but I think these things needed to be written...and now back on topic. I'm thankful I was raised in a loving home with Christian parents. I have a great relationship with my parents. I can talk to them about anything–theology, camera equipment, emotions, clothes–anything. We don't always agree on everything, but I know that I can talk to them about anything, and I praise God for that. I take it for granted too often. Hearing others' stories recently has made me realize how I take my relationship with my family for granted far too often.

I have two younger sisters as well, and I'm glad we're all close. We have our typical sibling fights, but for the most part we get along pretty well. I definitely think we've gotten closer now that we're all adults. I'm proud of my sisters. I'm not always good at expressing myself verbally, but I love my sisters, and I'm proud of them.

Lindsey is three years younger than me and recently graduated from Mississippi State as a painting major. She's an extremely talented artist. Check out some of her work here. Her road to graduation wasn't easy. Some plans changed, but I think she definitely wound up in the right major because she is ridiculously talented. She'll be heading to ultrasound tech school soon. Painting isn't a steady job market, but becoming an ultrasound tech will hopefully give her some job security while still allowing her to pursue painting.

Taylor is my baby sister. She's six years younger than me, and attending my alma mater, Mississippi College, where she is a sophomore nursing major. She just got her official acceptance letter into nursing school at MC. I think she will make an amazing nurse. Taylor has always been the most servant-hearted of the three of us. Lindsey and I abused her servant-hearted nature quite a bit growing up.

Sorry this post was so long. Sometimes I can't stop writing once I get going.

Some questions/thoughts for you...I'd love to hear your thoughts:
• Are you close to your family?
• How have your family relationships impacted how you view God/religion?
• Do you struggle with perfectionism or other traits which influence how you treat God?

Prayer Cards

This is my potential design for my prayer cards as I prepare to head overseas. Let me know what you think, and feel free to shoot me an email if you would like one once I get them printed. I need to have 100 people committed to praying weekly for me while I'm overseas, so if you'd like to be one of those people just comment with your name and email address. Thanks!

A big thanks goes to my friend Kara for taking some awesome portrait shots for me. It felt weird being on the other side of the camera. ha Glad she was willing to trade services with me, and I look forward to doing a family session for her!

*Edit: Added Sojourn's logo to the back.